Like Shattered Glass…

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 10:21 pm

                                                           Subject:  A DEAD END

 

As I sat with my son today

he asked me in his own way

questions about life and death

my poor little boy is only six

 

many might not think much of this

but in our house it happened

life and death

where was his sister

where is  Jess?

 

Mommy you were a baby

then you growed up 

and growed up and 

growed up

 

Yes sweetie, Mommy 

grew up and then I had you

 

Daddy was a baby 

then he growed up

and growed up and

growed up

 

Yes honey, Daddy

grew up and then we had you

 

Jessie was a baby

then she growed up…

 

No son,

Jessie didn’t get to grow up

she got to be 7 and 

now she’s in Heaven

 

Mommy, I was a baby

and now I am growed up

and will I still grow up 

and up, and up

 

Yes son, you will grow up

and then you will be a man

with a very kind heart

and a compassionate hand

 

I looked at him

I fought back tears

I held him and said

Do you know how much I love you son?

Yes I do, I love you too Mom

 

This is what he meant

in our session today

the one thing that stuck

in my mind all day

 

I said they were my lifeline

my sweet little boys

No, he said, you’ve got that wrong

you are their lifeline

you are their Mom

 

Thinking about her…

will never end

and wishing leads to pain

again and again

 

I have to stop doing this

again and again

it leads to nothing

it’s just a dead end…